1 year

One year this blog has been alive. Crazy. It is time to look back to see how much the trees have grown.  I actually want to just write about a few things that I have noticed since starting this fun blog.

avenue-2215317_1280

1- I am WAY better at expressing my emotions in written form.  I also have a lot more to say when I am writing it down and that is a good thing because I learn from those extra words that come out.  As I look back at posts through this year, I am reminded of fun times, happy times, hard times, trying times, and the rotation continues through it all. But I am grateful that we have the opportunity to choose how to feel, no matter what time it is.

2- I really like mediating.  That sounds so weird, but I do.  I have to admit I have slacked for a couple of weeks, and I am feeling it.  I had a great conversation the other night with my cute husband about how his mediation is totally different than mine, but that it bears the same benefits for him.

3- Sometimes I have nothing to say, and that is okay.  I was going to blog every week for the unknown, but realized that that was too taxing on me and that I am okay with working through silence.  Silence is a good thing and makes things more clear.  I am grateful to be able to realize that being still is important.

4- I am always grateful for the responses that I receive.  At first, I used to live for responses and see how many people read what I wrote, but I was missing the point.  This blog, although it is out there with many people, my self-esteem is NOT dependent upon responses or likes or how many random people came to visit my blog.

5- I am of worth.  One person does make a difference where ever their sphere is and that is all I need!

Longing to Belong

I just finished reading a book called, “Daring Greatly” by Brene’ Brown.  It was an enlightening book for me.  It gave me lots to think about, lots to work on, and has changed my perspective on things.  I want to talk about one passage from the book;

“Fitting in and belonging are not the same thing.  In fact, fitting in is one of the greatest barriers of belonging.  Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted.  Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” p. 231-2

I have been thinking about this a lot and trying to assess this in my own life.  When I have been in social situations, at home, and during play groups I have be mindful of the way I am feeling and the way I interact with others.  I also associated fitting it with being with the cool kids and all that jazz, but I never really understood that what I was craving and searching for was belonging.  I am really bad at fitting in, truthfully.  Case in point, I remember when I was around 12 and I was invited to a neighborhood friend’s birthday sleep over party.  I was so excited, but I was also terrified.  I didn’t feel like I fit in to begin with but was so excited to feel like I might.  But when the silly things started, like the first one asleep gets their bra frozen, the second one asleep gets shaving cream on their face, and so on…I didn’t want to fit in I just wanted to hide so none of those things would happen to me.  I remember my introvert self feeling more and more uncomfortable but not wanting to say anything because I wanted to fit in.  I played around for awhile but after being with a bunch of girls all night and not sleeping, I wasn’t in the best of moods.  I went to the extreme…to get away for a little while I went and sat on the stairs.  I didn’t understand then that I was over stimulated as an introvert and that all my stores of being social were on empty, I just knew I needed some space.  Well, that backfired because that drew attention to me and then I had to seriously deplete my store of being social and fitting in.  I didn’t do a very good job at fitting in, but have longed to.  But now, I know the difference.  I have been longing to belong, to be accepted for who I am.  I am an introvert, bookworm, soccer loving, sports watching, loyal, friend who would much rather have a “sleepover” with one or two friends and talk about meaningful things.

It our society, especially with social media, we always want to fit it, look our best, and make everything look effortless.  Well, my friends what we really need to do is turn to our families, our good friends and talk with them in person.  Be present with them, give the gift of belonging- to them- and you will feel the gift of belonging for you.

daringgreatlybadge

The World of Blogging

Hi!  This adventure into blogging is new territory for me. Sure, I love perusing other people’s blogs and seeing life through their eyes for a few moments, but I am not that interesting.  It can be so refreshing for me to see things outside of my little circle.  Sometimes it can be disheartening, because I get into the rut of thinking that I am not good enough or whatever else. Well, I never thought I would ever write a blog or open myself up to people who I didn’t trust.  But, it was one of those things that hits you like a bolt of lightning.  One day in my happy, little world a thought came and I knew that I needed to start a blog.  I came up with all sorts of reasons NOT too, but ultimately I felt pushed toward creating a blog.  In a way it was freeing to actually create something that didn’t involve a million pieces of paper cut by my kids with LOTS of glue and a lot of cute kid imagination (not saying that it is not fun, but a different kind of creating).  I found myself excited to explore different thoughts in my head and to just write.  I have long been a journal writer and have felt that I could write, in my own little world, but the outside seems so “scary”.

Truth be told, I am an introvert.  Seriously…like the 1% super introverted of the world.  I took this little personality test that my husband took (because he and his coworkers had been talking about personality types) and low an behold…an introvert.  I wasn’t really surprised, but I was surprised that my lovely husband and I BOTH were categorized into that little group of 1%.  Well, this information started me on this quest to find out more about myself and to understand who I was.  Enter a game changer…an amazing read called, “Quiet” by Susan Cain.  You can read more about her and her book here. I will write another post about that later.  So this blog is me being selectively extroverted. I hope you enjoy the randomness and craziness of life with me!  Thanks for stopping by!