Confessions of THIS mom, Part 1…sleeping, or the lack of

I am not a morning person.  I really want to be, but I have figured out that sleep is too important to me.  That may sound really dumb, but let me explain.  Since having kids and staying home with them, I have realized that if I don’t get sleep I am not a very good mom at all.  The newborn stage of kids, I would say by far, is the hardest stage of life.  Keeping up with the demands of a newborn and other kids can be brutal and I had a hard time keeping my head straight because I wasn’t sleeping.  After my first baby I had to go back to work while my husband finished his last semester of his bachelor degree and found a job.  I worked four 10-hour days, which really was like 12 hours away because of driving time and lunch time.  I woke up at 5 am every morning to pump milk and then get ready to go to work.  I pumped at work as well and came home around 7 pm to feed her and put her to bed.  The schedule was brutal.  For my last baby my husband was in graduate school. Even though I was able to stay at home and not work it was still hard because I was aware of my husband’s need to sleep to be able to function.  SO…as my kids have grown I have found myself wondering how in the world did I ever survive?  But I did.

Now, I just know that I need sleep.  I really want to be that mom that wakes up early, exercises, fixes a wonderful breakfast for her husband and her kids and walks out the door ready to go, but that is not my reality.  Yes, most of the time I take my kids to school in my pajamas.  I have tried at times to wake up before my kids and exercise, but WITHOUT fail my kids always wake up earlier than my alarm…ALWAYS!!!!!  I have tried at times to wake up early and read in the quiet of the morning, but my eyes are usually burning because of lack of sleep.  Granted, I am not the best sleeper.  If something wakes me up…uh said children…it takes me A LONG time to get back to sleep.  I am jealous sometimes of the ability that my sweet husband has to just roll over and be in dream land…how would it be?  So I am trying to embrace my need for some more sleep.  Scott and I have an unwritten rule that we don’t stay up past a certain time.  I try and get as many things done at night after the kids have gone to sleep and call it a day.  No, I will probably never be the person that gets up early and exercises (I wish I was because I am not the best at exercising) but I will at least be able to be a good mom because I have gotten some sleep!

Today my four year-old asked me why I am always tired…I could have named a lot of things i.e. daylight savings time, but instead I asked him why he was always grumpy at breakfast.  He didn’t have an answer, just a little head nod, and we moved on with our day.  To all of you moms out there that are morning people, you amaze me and I hope that one day I can be more like you!