Waiting for Stillness

My favorite, favorite scripture of all time has got to be Proverbs 3:5-6;

“5 ¶ Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

It has been on my mind recently.  Then I read Isaiah 49:23 and the end of the verse really hit me;

“thou shalt know that I am the Lord: for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me.”

Those that WAIT shall not be ashamed and then another scripture popped into my head, Isaiah 40:31;

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”new-zealand-1450672_1280

I have always been drawn to this scripture but I was unsure why.  But it hit me….it has to do with WAITING.  When I think about waiting I think about how much I don’t like to wait.bus-stop-391242_1280  I hate when people are late, I hate to make people wait, I don’t like when something starts late when I have made sure to be there on time, but reading these three scriptures together I have come to understand waiting in a spiritual sense.  It is a way of building and strengthening our character.

In Isaiah 40:31 it talks about renewing strength, mounting up, running, and walking.  Could it be that waiting upon the Lord can make our faith a true and active force in our lives?  Faith is power and action and moves a person to DO or MOVE.  When I think of waiting in my day to day life it is not active, but stagnate, stalling and negative.  But, waiting spiritually allows us to be still.  Back to Proverbs, when we truly put our trust in God we MOVE forward in His path.  I don’t want to lean, I want to be strong.  The other day I was doing yoga and we moved into tree pose.  silhouette-2208079_1280I felt the strength of rooting into the earth and standing still.  I wasn’t leaning, I was strong and steady.  I was waiting but not wanting, breathing and letting things be.  I was still.

Psalms 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God.”

What an amazing moment to connect all of these things and to remember that in the hard times and in the good, as we wait upon the Lord we will be exactly where He wants us to be.

Being Defined

I have been thinking a lot about some conversations I had with an old friend, a long time ago now, about being defined.  The conclusion was we can either be defined by the world, or by God.  I want to explore both of those.  By being defined by the world, it would be by the things we have, by what clothes we wear, by having the most, the best and the beautiful is the desired outlook.  I like to think of this as being defined by the “natural man”.  By being defined by God, it would be our soul, our relationship with Him, the true desires of our hearts, and our willingness to trust Him.

I began thinking about how I could bring these two more in line with each other.  And then I was reminded of a scripture I know in the Book of Mormon. It comes from Mosiah where a King/Prophet is telling his people his last words to them.

19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

God

World

-daughter/son of royalty -car                                            -clothes
-spiritual gifts -house                                       -money
-knowledge of truth -body type/size
-desires of heart -charisma

Feels like

-peaceful and safe -comparison to others
-better than I think I am -never good enough
-unique, no comparison needed -criticism is at the core
-infinite potential -no perfection ever reached
-takes me where I am, builds me up and allows me to learn -scared

Do I want to be in the middle? No, not really.  The natural man, or the carnal man, is an enemy to God.  Trying to be defined in the middle of the world and God isn’t comfortable, and it never will be.  How can I see myself through God’s eyes (and see others the same way) and put off that natural man?  Go back to the scripture above…I need to become as a child…submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit.  This hits me hard.  How many times as a parent to I inflict MY will on my kids and really they have NO CHOICE?  Most of the time they are willing to submit to me (going to the store, sitting in the school pick up line, eating their dinner) am I as willing?

I need to YIELD my heart to God.  To yield means “to give up and cease resistance or contention” according to my friend Merriam-Webster.  There is an action required on our part to yield.  A couple more scriptures, if you want to look them up, go for it!  2 Chr 30:8- yield to the Lord and ENTER His sanctuary, Helaman 3:35- yield your heart=become SANCTIFIED (becoming submissive and teachable), and Romans 6:13 (12-14)- less likely to sin because yield to RIGHTEOUSNESS, not the opposite.  So I can’t have both, I can’t just straddle the fence.  So where does my sense of self come from?

This is a hard question to answer.  Truthfully I struggle with my self esteem…my natural man is always telling me that I am not enough.  Not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not fashionable enough, not able to be an amazing decorator…blah blah.  So if my sense of self comes from the world/natural man= temporary, finite, and corruptible.  But if my sense of self comes from God=Infinite and eternal.  It is hard when one seems so tangible and the other not touchable but is more FELT on the inside.  As I am working to quiet my natural man and to truly YIELD to the spiritual, it truly is a fight! Like everyday.

My biggest battle, I want to please everyone.  I want to be able to do everything great all the time, and look great, but you know what…I can’t.  I can try my best and TRUST that God will make up the rest.  That said I am not saying everything worldly is bad.  Our bodies are a gift.  I am amazed at how much I can do with this body of mine, even though I am not slim.  I am trying as hard as I can to do my best with it but it is not perfect.  Control what you can control, do your best and give up the rest!

And one more scripture: 1 John 3:20 God is greater than our heart.

There are times when I don’t know if I can do it, but you know what? God knows and I choose to trust Him.